File this one under Things You Should Never Do, Ever. British police have released a recording of a woman calling 999 (the U.K. version of 911) to report a life-threatening emergency: the guy selling her ice cream didn't give her enough sprinkles.
"It doesn't seem like much of an emergency," the woman says, displaying a surprising level of self-awareness for someone who's tying up an emergency services line to report a sprinkle shortage. "But it is a little bit, because I've ordered an ice cream and he's put bits on one side and none of the other."
Horror of horrors! This is basically the same as if, rather than sell her ice cream, the vendor had attempted to murder her with it. She goes on:
"The person has basically given me an ice cream and he's put bits on one side and none on the other and I've said can you that properly please and he's like, no. He's refusing to give me my money back and saying that I've got to take it like that."
During the call, the woman can be heard continuing to argue with the vendor, who was operating out of what she describes as an "ice cream van." Van? We're not sure what kind of game they're playing across the pond, but here in 'Merica we buy our ice cream from TRUCKS. If someone rolled up in a van and started offering us ice cream, you can bet we'd be calling emergency services.
A recording of the call was released by West Midlands police (who receive over 1,500 emergency calls each day) in an attempt to deter callers from reporting similar non-emergencies.
For her part, the operator responding to the call transferred the woman to the Trading Standards line.
Play the video below to listen to the audio from the call.