10 Cool Jobs: Calling All Cheese Masters
Feeling bleu? Check out these hot new listings
Last week, we rounded up the ten coolest jobs now hiring. And while there's still time to apply for that elephant vet internship, we've compiled another set of job openings that will make you the envy of your friends and scourge of your enemies. Assuming that professional birthday party hosts have enemies, of course. At any rate, take a gander at the ten coolest, weirdest, and, um, explosive ordnance disposal-est jobs now hiring.
1. Music Therapist
What it is: No, not like that scene in Zero Dark Thirty where they blast death metal until a POW reveals mission-critical information. Your mission here, rather, is to use music to help patients improve their health. This could mean simply discussing music, or initiating free improvisation sessions to improve motor skills. Or, you know, blasting death metal, if your patient is into that kind of thing.
Who it's for: Good listeners
> Apply for a job as a music therapist
2. Costume Character
What it is: Like Disney World and other themed resorts, one of the touchstones of the Six Flags experience is the hoard of costumed characters who walk the park posing for pictures and dispensing hugs and high-fives. Sure, there's that creepy shrunken guy from the commercials, but the franchise is also home to the Looney Toons gang and myriad other icons. In addition to competitive pay, you'll also receive unlimited free admission for yourself and a friend.
Who it's for: Hug-dispensers, caped crusaders
> Apply for a job as a costume character
3. Explosive Ordnance Disposal Instructor
What it is: As long as we're doling out movie references, we might as well also mention The Hurt Locker, that other great modern war film. That one dealt with the deactivation of IEDs, and as an explosive ordnance disposal (EOD) instructor, you'll be training U.S. military personnel for similar high-risk positions. The job will require travel to Mazar-e-Sharif, Afghanistan, and involves "humanitarian and commercial mine action and ordnance disposal, security assistance, and canine detection services." So, fun with dogs!
Who it's for: Um, explosive ordnance disposal experts. That's pretty much it.
> Apply for a job as an ordnance disposal instructor
4. Zoo Director
What it is: Kansas's Hutchinson Zoo hosts approximately 65,000 visitors a year and features over 200 animals, including mammals, reptiles, birds, and amphibians. As Zoo Director, you'll preside over this eclectic kingdom, and take charge of the zoo's planning, direction, and operation. You'll also ensure the proper care of all animals, so make sure you have a good grasp of what makes a black-footed ferret feel comfortable.
Who it's for: Birdmen, big cat ladies
> Apply for a job as a zoo director
5. Birthday Party Host
What it is: The title "birthday party host" might bring to mind one of the creepy clowns your parents hired when you turned four, but this is actually a demanding, logistics-heavy job that requires strong customer services skills and an ability to defuse tense situations. Okay, it might not be as stressful as the bomb disposal job above, but it's close. That's why the team hiring is known as "special birthday operations."
Who it's for: Explosive human-defusing experts
> Apply for a job as a birthday party host
6. Life Guard
What it is: When you were a kid and went to the pool, the life guards were like the kings and queens of the court. They presided over us, ready to swoop into action at a moment's notice. They also got to sit in those cool high-up chairs. Well, now's your chance to take the chair for yourself. Working as a life guard can be great for high school grads looking to pick up a few extra bucks, and serves as a point of entry for anyone interested in exploring a career in healthcare.
Who it's for: Pool sharks
> Apply for a job as a life guard
7. Doggy Day Camp Counselor
What it is: There are plenty of jobs out there suited to Alpha-type figures, but only a few that require it in the literal, canine sense. If you're comfortable working with (and cleaning up after) large packs of dogs, this may be the job for you. They might be silly, they might be messy, they might treat your ankle as their personal chew toy. Whatever the case, as a doggy day camp counselor you'll be tasked with handling them with care, attention, and superhuman patience.
Who it's for: Top dogs
> Apply for a job as a doggy day camp counselor
8. Deputy Coroner
What it is: And now for something completely different. There are no puppies or rainbows in the world of the coroner, but it's truly necessary work (however grim) for those who vi it as a calling. Coroners confirm and certify the death of an individual, and can also order an investigation into the cause. As a deputy, you'll have room to grow; if you have the forensic experience requested here, you should already have a good sense of whether this is a job and life for you.
Who it's for: The decidedly un-squeamish
> Apply for a job as a deputy coroner
9. Team Lead, Cheese Production
What it is: While we're on the subject of callings: for the gourmands of the world, working as a cheese maker is one of the most noble professions there is. But working here takes more than just really, really liking cheese (although it can't hurt). You'll need to know how to prep a blue cheese vat as opposed to one that's scheduled for cheese curd, and oversee vat recipe functions using a specialized software interface. Yes, there is a dedicated computer program for monitoring cheese vats. If that's not cool, then I don't know what is.
Who it's for: Gods and muensters, big cheeses
> Apply for a job as a team lead in cheese production
10. Private Investigator (Skip Tracer)
What it is: With decades of films, books, and television romanticizing the life of the private eye, it's easy to forget that it's a real job held by normal, non-fedora wearing people. You don't even have to be an expert in tailing suspects and sweet-talking femme fatales; you simply need to be an honest, self-motivated individual with experience tracking people down. And you can still wear a fedora if you really want to.
Who it's for: Modern-day Marlowes who know how to Google
> Apply for a job as a private investigator
Mack Gelber a Brooklyn-based writer and editor who has covered entertainment at AOL TV, and contributed fiction to Joyland Magazine and the Bushwick Review. He is a graduate of Oberlin College, where he studied creative writing. Twitter: @mackgelber