Help! My Boss And I Don't Get Along

bad relationship with bossBy Susan Ricker

Every worker has disagreed with his boss at some point, no matter how big or small the issue may have been. If you're lucky, the disagreement is behind you. However, what can you do if you and your boss simply don't get along? Lynne Sarikas, director of Northeastern University's MBA Career Center, may have the answer.

Search Job Openings

In Partnership With


"The hiring manager wades through piles of resumes and conducts multiple interviews to find the best candidate for the job," Sarikas says. "The candidate researches the company, asks insightful questions during the interviews and even talks with networking contacts. In spite of best efforts on both sides of the hiring equation, sometimes things don't work out as planned. What is the employee to do if he just doesn't get along with the boss?" Check out Sarikas' steps for improving communication and the relationship with your boss, and what to do if the case looks hopeless.


Self-Reflection
  • If you sense that things just don't feel right, pay attention to your instincts.
  • Pay attention to when things don't feel right and keep a list; review and identify patterns and issues.
  • Consider what you think the issue is and what you might do to remedy the situation.
  • Honestly assess your fit for the position as well as your strengths and weaknesses.
  • If you need to better understand how your role fits in the larger mission of the company, ask.
  • The more specific you can be in what's missing, the better able you will be to address it.

More: Sign Up For AOL Jobs' Newsletter

Meet With Your Manager
  • Request a meeting with your manager.
  • Do not be confrontational, but state that you are seeking feedback -- you want to understand what you are doing well and what you could be doing better.
  • Ask about your fit with the team.
  • Ask for specific recommendations on how to make things better.
  • If it is clear that there is a personal issue, seek further feedback; maybe you have different work styles which are in conflict.
  • If you are able to identify the problem and brainstorm ways to make things better, give it an honest try, and agree to debrief at a future date.

Remain Professional
  • Do not bad-mouth your boss to everyone else on the team and anyone who will listen.
  • Do not let a bad attitude or frustrations impact your work performance.
  • Be sure to keep notes of discussion and observations.


More: Can The Boss Fire You For Badmouthing Him On Facebook?

Escalate The Situation

  • If you have tried talking to your manager and things aren't getting any better, consider escalating the issue to HR. Meet with your HR contact, share your feedback and what you have done to address the issue, and brainstorm next steps.


Be Willing To Walk Away

  • If there is an irreconcilable difference between you and the boss, be prepared to look for another position, either within or outside of the company.
  • Even if the problem is the boss, it often takes time to address those issues through proper channels, and it may not be worth it for your mental health to hang in there.
  • Think about how to explain your change when looking for a new job without speaking ill of the company or the manager.
  • Identify references at the company other than your direct manager before you leave so you are prepared in your job search.


Manage Your Stress

  • Dealing with a difficult boss can be extremely stressful.
  • Exercise, get your sleep and do whatever you can to manage your stress level.
  • Try to focus on what you are accomplishing or learning at work without thinking about the negative impact of your manager.

How to Get Along With Your Boss



Don't Miss: Companies Hiring Now



Related Stories



Looking for a job? Click here to get started.


Filed under: Bosses, Co-Workers

CareerBuilder

Editor

CareerBuilder is the global leader in human capital solutions, helping companies target and attract their most important asset – their people. CareerBuilder.com’s team of career advisers, editors and writers are experts in job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Get daily job advice on www.TheWorkBuzz.com, follow CareerBuilder on Twitter at www.twitter.com/careerbuilder and become a fan of CareerBuilder on FaceBook.

Add a Comment

*0 / 3000 Character Maximum

2 Comments

Filter by:
Elisa Jed

I definitely recommend to look for patterns. If you pay "attention to when things don't feel right and keep a list; review and identify patterns and issues" you can usually pinpoint the problem. I used to have trouble with my boss; every time he talked to me it was short, abrupt, and almost rude. I eventually noticed that he also would start coughing often around me. Turns out, he was allergic to my perfume and neither of us knew it. He just realized that he didn't feel good around me and so tried to spend as little time with me as possible at work. Once we figured out the problem, we haven't had any trouble. So it might be something as simple and innocent as that.

Elisa Jed | http://www.caringcounseling.net/how.html

April 24 2014 at 10:34 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Rachel

Thanks for the post. I am sure that the problem of not getting along with your manager happens to a lot of people. It is nice to see these suggestions on how to cope with it and be able to get work done.

Rachel Zane | http://www.newsomepsych.net/services.html

February 05 2014 at 1:39 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Search Jobs

In Partnership With
Keywords:
Location:

Search Articles

Top Companies Hiring

July 20 - July 27

Looking for work? See what companies added new openings this week.

×

Check out our new Map Search

Locate your next job using the new AOL Jobs Map Search!

Pin down your next great opportunity today.