Many years ago I called my boss and said " I got lucky last night and want to stay that way all day". He said he could not argue with that one. I love that guy, best boss in the world.
I woke up to find my roommate had taped a dozen layers of newspaper over my bedroom door. Once I broke through, I followed notes around the house to find my keys frozen in a cup of ice in the freezer. He had been nice enough to leave a pot of hot water in the coffee maker. I was late to work that day and when I told my boss why, he said it was so far fetched that it must be the truth.
Froze his keys? Pretty original and very funny, but it would not take that long to get them out. Go out side and smash the ice on the pavement or use a hammer to crack the ice then run water over them. Maybe 5 minutes of delay. If you run out wearing you GF's shoes either you have small feet or your GF has big feet, I wear a 14 shoe, my wife wears an 8, no way I couls use that excuse. I wonder if he put on her high heels? Drove to her old job by mistake, now that is a good one...
I had one employee that said his dog swallowed his car keys.
Who gives a ---- what excuse the "hiring manager" hears, unless THEY are the BOSS.
I liked the frozen keys one. Think I'll use this one myself.
A co-worker couldn't come in on a busy day because he said he had ringworm.
HAHA! These people will have no longevity in the workplace, for sure.