How To Deal With The Passive-Aggressive Boss

passive aggressive boss managerBy Nadia Jones


We've all been there. Somehow, through a loophole in the karmic system of workplace balance and order, your boss has landed a position he or she just doesn't seem to deserve or know how to handle with confidence, and, unfortunately for you, they know it.

This is when employees often come across one of the most difficult bosses to deal with -- the passive-aggressive manager. Passive-aggressive management stems from that person's insecurity in his position and ability to maintain authority, or simply insecurity in himself. Unfortunately, employees can smell that type in ineptitude all the way from that corner office. Think "The Office"; either the original or American version will do.

But how do you know if you really have a passive-aggressive boss? And what's the best way to deal with one?


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If any of the following warning signs ring true, you may have some managerial passive-aggression on your hands, and unless that manager makes some immediate changes, he or she will be on the fast track to losing employee respect and dampening motivation.

Read on for the warning signs of passive aggressive management and the best way to deal with it in the workplace:


1. There's no direct critique of work, good or bad.
The passive aggressive manager will do his or her best to avoid giving any kind of direct critique of your job performance. Employees often receive little to no feedback, and no praise or promotion for excellent performance or exceptional talent. Basically, with this type of manager, you never know where you stand. Talk about bad for morale.

How to deal with it:
If your boss never gives critiques, or does so in a way that still leaves you feeling unclear about where you stand, ask directly about your performance. Putting her on the spot with a direct question rather than playing her game might help her give you feedback that's actually valuable.

Doesn't work? Put your head down and do the best possible job you can.


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2. Rules are vague or unnecessary.
When this manager puts rules or directions in place, they give them in the form of passive statements. Rather than complete and explicit do's and don'ts for employees, this manager gives a vague sets of guidelines, derived from a formula that only he knows. If anyone begins to stray from the picture that he has in his head, he becomes upset, possibly invoking new, stricter rules that are even more unnecessary or unclear.

How to deal:
As an employee, this can be a difficult to handle. Unfortunately, at the end of the day, your boss is your boss. He or she gets to make the rules, and it's your job to follow them. If you want no hassles, simply do what they ask to the best of your ability.

Or if the rules are totally out of control, try to figure out your boss' motivation. Maybe it's not that he really cares about how long your lunch break takes; he actually cares about how it looks to other employees and their superiors. Figure out what line your boss wants you to toe, and do your best to toe it.


3. Pickiness about the wrong things.
This is a surefire sign of mismanagement if there ever was one. If you have a boss who never comments on the more important issues, such as how your work contributes to the overall goals of your company or how your production quality looks compared to some of the best employees, and instead constantly finds tiny details to pick at, he could very well be insecure about his position. Such a strong focus on things that matter least is confusing for employees and leaves you second-guessing your work and your value.

How to deal:
If this happens once in a while, just let it go. But if it's a constant issue, the next time your boss picks at something small, try this approach: Acknowledge the complaint fairly, then ask how to best tailor the current project to ultimate goals. Or ask for formal documentation of the errors you're making, so you can keep track and improve. No matter what you do, tread lightly.


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4. Absence of professional development and sharing of expertise.
A great leader wants to help everyone improve. An insecure leader secretly fears losing her position to someone else and avoids sharing what she knows at all costs. Passive-aggressive managers are not comfortable enough with their expertise to share their experience with their employees, which means little training for new employees and no professional development or collaboration for employees already working in the company.

How to deal:
This can be a pretty depressing environment to be a part of, if you like to learn or have career goals. (And don't we all?) The best way to deal is to sidestep your boss altogether. There are plenty of ways to learn from those around you. Your co-workers probably have ranges of knowledge that you don't, and vice versa. If your boss is holding you back from expanding your career (maybe without even knowing it), it's time to start looking elsewhere for professional development and, ultimately, figure out how to leave both your boss and position behind.


5. Avoids valuable interaction with co-workers.
A great manager knows how to dance the fine line between maintaining a position of authority while still having genuine interactions with employees. The passive-aggressive manager, on the other hand, cannot let down his guard. Although he wishes strongly to be liked by employees, often playing the role of the joker or comedian, he feels he must place a wall between himself and subordinates to avoid genuine interaction. This manager builds up the wrong types of distances between himself and co-workers. He seems friendly and open one moment, then retreats the next.

How to deal:
Keep your distance as much as possible. It's obvious that your boss wants to draw a line between himself and his employees. Simply focus on the positive aspects of your work environment, without putting much stake in how your boss acts from one moment to the next, and focus on relationships with your co-workers instead.


Nadia Jones blogs at Online College about education, college, students, teachers, movies and saving money. You can reach her at nadia.jones5@gmail.com.


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lironess

Wow these are tame compared to some of the bosses that I have had. The MOST important thing that I think you can learn in work is self motivation and self evaluation. If YOU know you did a great job that is what is important. Many bosses are so emotionally screwed up and have screwed up lives that they put it all on you....Also..once found a CEO's diary tucked away in a drawer that I was cleaning. Only read a few pages...mostly self motivation....they are just as scared to speak in front of a large group as the rest of us... CEO's are just people...same hopes and fears....

June 17 2012 at 5:57 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
To Be Honest

Number 5. What if you are just avoiding interacting with a workplace bully (or a few)? Experts say to keep your distance then your article states one is being passive aggressive for not interacting. I don't know if I should believe any of this advice. There is an argument for and against any behavior in the workplace. Be honest. The only way to do well in a position is to know someone or be a part of a clique.

June 14 2012 at 7:48 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
mwloss

Haha. Is my boss. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view) my husband is exactly the same..... so I know how to handle it.

June 14 2012 at 6:44 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
troofdetector12

I walked out on this kind of boss March of last year. Luckly I was able to retire.

June 14 2012 at 2:10 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
phenomlvr

what about the boss that KNOWS an employee is KISSING HIS/HER A** and thinks it's cute or sees it as positive??? Yea.. that's what I have to deal with. It doesn't matter how hard you work or that you don't complain about your work load or your other coworkers, as long as you SUCK UP to those in charge every day & do & say everything you can to belittle or degrade yoru cowrorkers... I don't have much respect for a boss like that... it shows very little or NO character...

June 14 2012 at 1:23 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
dragonflytattoo1968

Sounds like my boss...she is so annoying. The "rules" apply to some of the people some of the time but never all of the people all of the time. Annoying!!!! And she always "talks" to you about a complaint by phrasing it as a question "what do you think Josh thought when you said...." or "how do you think Sara felt when you ...". I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY THOUGHT OR FELT AND I DONT REALLY CARE!!!! And my favorite....."Its the charge persons responsibility to see that that doesn't happen..." and i love responding to that one! "Ummm...YOUR the charge person A$$ hole"!!

Only thing that keeps me sane is knowing there is a boss Hell and she is going to it!

June 14 2012 at 11:18 AM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply
jyban

Sounds like Jeff Keck.

June 14 2012 at 10:19 AM Report abuse +1 rate up rate down Reply

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