Get Ahead At Work, Even When You Don't Have Time To Shmooze
A while ago, I read a piece in the Wall Street Journal called "When Happy Hour Isn't An Option, Finding Time to Network." The author, Katherine Rosman, wrote that since she lived an hour from her job, she raced home just in time to get her kids to bed. But since she did this every night, she missed out on networking opportunities when her colleagues or people in her industry met for happy hours. She asked for suggestions on how to network during different times.
Certainly, there's nothing magical about happy hours. In many cases, companies and industries are far too reliant on them, because they're so easy. Stick people in a bar and voila! You've created a social occasion. More creative ideas would include having people meet for lunch, for coffee, for breakfasts, or (my personal favorite) the networking play date. Seriously. If you've got colleagues or contacts whose kids are the same age, have them over to play on a weekend!
But Rosman's article raised a few issues that come up again and again in discussions of how to combine a Big Career with going full-in on the parenting front as well:
Think long and hard about building a long commute into your life.
Yes, you'll have more room in the 'burbs, and your money will go farther. On the other hand, if you quit your job because you can't stomach the commute, or you don't pursue advancement because sometimes you'll have to stay late, you won't come out ahead. I do understand that these days, many people have had to change jobs and can't sell their houses, or two spouses have had to take jobs far from each other. But it is something to think about in the long term.
Think in terms of 168 hours, not 24.
Your kids do not need to see you every evening. They should see you most evenings, but the situation Rosman described was creating real inefficiencies. She didn't do the networking she needed to do to advance her career, but she was still only getting a few minutes with her kids before bedtime. Perhaps it would work better to choose two nights to socialize and get home after the kids went to bed. Then another night or two a week she could consciously try to take an earlier train (Fridays are good for that). Or keep the kids up a little later. An extra 15 minutes means more time for stories.
If you have a family, do you ever go to networking happy hours?
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Laura Vanderkam is the author of All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending (Portfolio, 2012), and 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think (Portfolio, 2010). She lives outside Philadelphia with her husband and three children, and blogs daily at www.lauravanderkam.com.
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