Warning: 1 In 3 Young Professionals Suffers From This Career-Related Condition

young professional career pathsBy Therese Schwenkler

A serious condition is sweeping across the nation. Are you one of the thousands of 20-somethings affected?

Dubbed "shoulditis" by medical professionals, this condition is not a joke. Nearly 90 percent of cases have been found to result in severe and sometimes fatal damage to one's inborn potential, ultimately leading to the slow and silent death of, well, the soul.

If you experience any of the following warning signs, seek help immediately:

  • The compulsive and incessant feeling that you should have it all figured out, despite the confusion swirling around in your head
  • The persistent sense that you should follow a certain predefined path, for example, law school, business school, climbing the corporate ladder, etc.
  • Sudden and unexplained disorientation upon arrival to said classroom, cubicle or office; constant feeling of "WTF am I doing here?!"
  • The feeling that you are walking (or are expected to walk) someone else's path rather than your own
  • Sense of dread regarding THE REST OF YOUR FREAKING LIFE
  • Nausea, vomiting, throwing up within the mouth

The cause of shoulditis is not completely known, but it is believed to originate from a combination of the following factors:

  • Pressure (whether real or perceived) pressure from parents, friends and society to appear as though you have it all figured out
  • The need to prove that you are not, in fact, an aimless and wandering blob-of-a-loser
  • The (completely laughable) notion that everyone else has their crap together


So what's the treatment?

Most patients choose to treat their shoulditis with a daily dose of prescription Suckitup ® 20 mg, which works by inhibiting the brain's natural ability to question. This results in a newfound ability to become accustomed to, and even superficially happy with the daily grind.

Suckitup works quickly and effectively, allowing you to live a normal life immediately without the compulsion to ask all those pesky questions like "Who am I?" and "What should I do with my life?"

However, the drug does not cure the underlying condition and has several known side effects, including:

  • Leading a life of quiet desperation
  • The slow and silent killing of the soul
  • Occasional diarrhea

Patients sometimes have trouble swallowing Suckitup or cannot tolerate the side effects, preferring instead to treat the condition with alternative methods. Contrary to popular belief, a myriad of alternative treatments do exist - but only you can decide which one is right for you.

Options include, but are not limited to:

  • Traveling the world, asking questions, exploring options and allowing yourself "not to know" for awhile
  • Ditching the well-worn path for the path that speaks to your soul, even if it means sacrificing societal norms or secure paychecks or parental approval
  • Seeking a mentor or coach who can help you figure out how to forge that unbeaten path
  • Starting your own business or project or initiative
  • Pursuing your passion or a side gig alongside a traditional career

Suckitup is not the only answer, and don't make the mistake of thinking it is. Your soul depends on it.


Therese Schwenkler writes for the young & confused at theunlost.com, proving that good advice doesn't have to be boring or uncool. Battling shoulditis? Click here for the free guide to SAVING YOUR FREAKING SOUL.



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Matthew

Even if it means sacrificing secure paychecks?

d i s a g r e e

Homeless people do not look amused.

December 07 2011 at 9:05 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
HI LAY KAI

Hahahaha I love this!!! I take about 200mg of Suckitup® everyday...smh

December 07 2011 at 12:25 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Phyllis Aguilar

I LOVED THIS. THANKS!

December 07 2011 at 9:59 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Larke

Unfortunately, too many are waiting for Suckitup ® 20 mg to be available in generic form....

December 07 2011 at 9:18 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Allen

And the side effects for the alternative treatments are liveinmomanddadsbasementis till you are 35. This condition can lead to embarrassment, especially when you bring a date home and shssh her not to wake up your parents.

December 07 2011 at 9:00 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
rentfromus

This is a joke or office humore people. Did you see the name of the medicine--Suckitup at 20mg.

December 07 2011 at 8:57 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
1 reply to rentfromus's comment
rentfromus

sorry--humor

December 07 2011 at 8:57 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
gjcmc

Total BS. If this generation is having a hard time figuring it out, it's because they've been pampered and catered to their entire lives. Boo hoo ... grow up already.

December 07 2011 at 8:12 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Bill

Another BS condition, next thing you know Big Pharma will devolop a drug for its treatment and make millions. Get some self respect/esteem already and grow a set...sheesh

December 07 2011 at 7:32 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
BHarrison2

"******* up" has been a prerequisite conditional part of "paying one's dues" to get into most lines of business. It is the tacit deferral to those who own and control the business operations where one gains the practical experience to become established in any industry/profession. "******* up" is as old as mankind; it ranges from respectful deferral to sniveling, groveling deferral . . . . with or without dignity, that is the key element. It is rather unrealistic to think that one is going to "walk in the door", be hired, and then just do whatever one pleases . . . that just is not realistic. If you can't work for someone, then you need to start your own business . . . good luck.

Every generation in history has suffered from this type of "condition"; it isn't anything new.

December 07 2011 at 7:24 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Marga

Bull-should! Anyone who whould start a business without having dealt with this codependent characteristic is headed for some misery. Many mentors and coaches are themselves suffering from codependency or they wouldn't be doing what they're doing. My suggestion for dealing with The Shoulds, is CoDa, Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.

December 07 2011 at 6:53 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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