The 5 Most Unusual Jobs For A Halloween Costume
There are certain careers that have become costume staples every Halloween: sexy nurses, sexy policewomen, sexy teachers, sexy firefighters, sexy soldiers, and really, any uniform that you could make out of Lycra. But certain online costumes shops are peddling the outfits of less conventional careers. You only get one night every year to play what-could-have-been, so why not sample something a little different?
1. Beer Vendor
Pro athletes are popular Halloween get-ups, understandably. It's always nice to dream of a life flexing muscle before thousands of cheering fans, and taking home a seven figure paycheck. But the job of lubricating those fans' cheers is less aspirational, which makes beer vendor a somewhat unlikely choice for your one night of grown-up dress-up. Being able to store your evening's drinks around your neck is pretty convenient though.
2. Lunch Lady
Your lunch lady costume comes complete with wig, hairnet, padded blue dress, food-stained apron and "Mildred" name tag. Pair it with some untrendy sneakers, bunched stockings, and unflattering specks and you have mastered the "Lunch Lady," tapping into our collective childhood memories of sloppy joes served with a side of scowl. But really, though, lunch ladies work damn hard. And while Halloween isn't known for its political correctness, maybe those women who dedicate their lives to nourishing thousands of developing humans should be cut a little slack.
Gas station attendant is one of the less sexy professions, which is why it was so hilarious when Paris Hilton pretended to be one in the hidden-camera show, "I Get That A Lot," and why there have been multiple hot girl gas station attendant prank videos.
The age of the sexy-authority-figure costume is over, and the age of the sexy-working-class-laborer has just begun!
It's unclear why beekeeper hasn't become a Halloween classic. There's an element of danger, a dash of sweetness, a recognizable hat with a net attached that encircles your face. Maybe it's because people don't like to party with a net encircling their face? Whatever the reason, a butter yellow all-in-one, with a little creativity, could be transformed into a suit that protects against radioactivity, a suit that protects against contagious diseases, or really any suit that needs to cover every inch of your body. And the definition of a good Halloween costume is one that can -- with some tweaking -- get recycled year after year.
One wouldn't expect that being a Chippendale dancer would require much of a costume, given that undressing is the essence of the job. But for $14.99 you can purchase a bow-tie with collar and two white cuffs to give a touch of class to your naked torso. If women can't escape rampant sexual objectification on Halloween, at least men have a chance to join in too.
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Claire Gordon has contributed to Slate's DoubleX, the Huffington Post, and the book Prisons: Current Controversies. While an undergraduate at Yale University and a research fellow at Yale graduate school, she spoke on panels at Yale and Cornell, and reported from Cairo, Tokyo, and Berlin.
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