If You Can't Bring Home the Bacon, Don't Even Think About Marriage

Marriage The days of women staying at home "barefoot and pregnant" while the man goes out to tame the big bad world are officially over. New research finds that 65 percent of the women surveyed said they would not feel comfortable getting married if they were unemployed. They want to contribute their fair share.

But that doesn't let men off the hook when it comes to breadwinning: 75 percent of the women surveyed said they would not marry someone who was unemployed. Those stats are fresh from a study conducted by ForbesWoman, a prominent site for professional and career-minded women in conjunction with YourTango.com, a love and relationship site.

"With the recent unemployment rate up to 9.1 percent, joblessness is an increasingly pervasive issue -- especially for women as they consider the fiscal and emotional stability of their romantic future," said Andrea Miller, founder and CEO, YourTango.com. "From money woes to resentment, joblessness can create great strain on relationships. Before women enter into a lifetime commitment, they want to feel secure in what their partner can bring to the table."

There seems to be a bit of a disconnect when it comes to ideals, however: More than 91 percent of the single women surveyed said they would marry for love over money. "It is ironic that women place more weight on love than money, yet won't marry if they or their potential suitor is unemployed," said ForbesWoman reporter Meghan Casserly. "A job can make or break the longevity of a relationship and the results of the survey demonstrate just what an important role careers play in romance."

The survey found further evidence in how jobs can effect a relationship:

Sleepless Nights: 40 percent of women in a relationship said their job responsibilities were most likely to keep them up at night, while job responsibilities and love life tied as the two factors most likely to keep single women awake.

Money Makes the World Go Around: 32 percent of women in a relationship make more money than their partner. 50 percent of women would marry someone who earned significantly less than them, while 41 percent responded that they wouldn't marry someone who earned significantly less than them.

Career vs. Kids: 55 percent would give up their career to take care of kids if their partner asked them to do so, while only 28 percent would ask the same of their partner.

Ladies, would you marry an unemployed man?
Yes, of course I would!1 (33.3%)
Not a snowball's chance!1 (33.3%)
Depends on the circumstances.1 (33.3%)

Me Time: If the women could find an extra hour in each day, 42 percent said they would spend it by themselves, as opposed to with their partner, friends or family or on work.

Living the Dream: 77 percent of those surveyed said that they believe women can simultaneously have a fulfilling relationship and family life, as well as a successful career.

In essence, the survey found that working women, both single and in a relationship, are still intent on "having it all." Whether or not they buy into the notion that "you can have it all, just not all at the same time," remains to be seen.

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I was taught many a time from my firend Evelyn Godwin of Mt. Pleasant, TX that women are TRICKY and to watch out for them. Boy was she right! Them biddies are hard to tame!

June 23 2011 at 12:13 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Why should they. The Man is supposed to be the Bread Winner. If he wants to be the Boss he should pay the cost. A nation of Wimp Ass Men will never survive.

June 23 2011 at 11:38 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

in this day and age...i wouldn't marry a woman that didn't have a job either. even at my age...she would still have to have her own line of credit...her hospitilization in order... as well as her retirement funds in place.

June 23 2011 at 11:01 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Affimative action has come full circle. After many years of pulling employment recruiting lists with little stars by some names the Pendulum must swing back. I am retired so I no longer must remain mute on those little stars and their mandate. Until recently there were never any white male names with stars by them. Just fact no rhetoric or speculation needed.

June 23 2011 at 10:54 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply


June 23 2011 at 10:19 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply


June 23 2011 at 9:08 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

so women wanted their place in the workplace eating up space that men used to inhabit & now that that space has been whittled down to nothing of course they don't need a guy because he's a freeloader. I don't necessarily believe this many women think like this & it is an important consideration due mainly to work ethics of each side but the way this poll puts it it does come off somewhat contradictory. My gf's been unemployed for over 3 yrs. now & as a man I take care of her through thick & thin. I don't need marriage or control to make me understand what my perception of life is all about..

June 23 2011 at 8:29 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Sounds like women are more & more Bi-Polar with each passing day in this country,will marry for love but you have to be employed first???

June 23 2011 at 7:47 AM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

Ladies, I would not consider dating a man making a low income. I married a man with at least a decent income. Before marriage, we decided on just one child, but we accidently got pregnant a couple more times. Yes, the lord blessed me with three adorable children. I quit my decent paying job to raise the children. Money is very tight. My husband wants me to go back to work, but I told him that I would not be able to spend enough time with the children, so he is working two jobs now. Men should be the provider.

June 23 2011 at 7:19 AM Report abuse +2 rate up rate down Reply

My son is going to college on the GI bill, his girlfriend brings in 3 times what he gets for living expenses but after completing 6 years of college in a professional field, he'll be making at least twice what she's making. They've been together less than a year and aren't contemplating marriage yet but if he did want to get married, she'd be a fool to turn him down because he's unemployed at present. It should depend on the circumstances. A guy who served his country to pay for a college education who's unemployed is a lot different from some guy who can't keep a job at the local Taco Bell. There is a growing number of losers out there though. My housekeeper who comes in every few months to do heavy cleaning was telling me about her daughter's friends who are working to support the lazy bums they married and had kids with.

June 22 2011 at 11:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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