A reporter recently asked me for some "lines" women should have at the ready. It made me think about the many phrases I often suggest that women add to their arsenals so that they are prepared for whatever comes their way. Try practicing these until they become second nature to you:
1. "Be that as it may, I still would like..."
Use this to hold your ground with someone who is giving you an excuse for why you can't have what you want. A variation would be, "I hear what you're saying, and I still would like..."
2. "I would be happy to do that for you. Let me tell you __________ [how much it will cost, how much time it will take, how much help I will need, etc.]."
Good customer/client service requires you to be willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done - but it doesn't mean you shouldn't ask for what you need to meet the needs of others. Often when you tell them the "cost" of their request, it soon becomes modified.
3. "Thank you. I'm glad you noticed and appreciate the feedback."
If you have a difficult time accepting a compliment, this is the one for you.
4. "Although I can't participate at this time, I appreciate your letting me know about it."
This is a nice way to say buzz off, I'm not buying whatever you're selling.
5. "I'm sure you didn't realize you just cut ahead of me in line."
You can say this one as you step in front of the offender - best said with a smile.
6. "Although I can't do ________, I can do ____________."
Contrasting is a powerful tool to set clear boundaries yet offer alternatives that are more acceptable to you.
You can find these and other tips for communicating with impact in my new book, "Nice Girls Just Don't Get It," co-authored with Carol Frohlinger.
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Dr. Lois Frankel, President of Corporate Coaching International, a Pasadena, California consulting firm, literally wrote the book on coaching people to succeed in businesses large and small around the globe. Her books Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office and Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich are international bestsellers translated into over twenty-five languages worldwide.
Stop Sabotaging Your Career, a book based on her experiences as a pioneer in the field of business coaching working with everyone from CEOs to entry-level professionals, is a must-read for both men and women. And See Jane Lead is a virtual road map for any woman who wants to take charge at work. Nice Girls Just Don’t Get It, her next book co-authored with Carol Frohlinger, will be published in April, 2011 by Crown Archetype, a division of Random House.
Sought-after as a public speaker for her witty, warm and practical presentations that simultaneously engage, educate and entertain, Dr. Frankel is among the top names of international speakers. She has appeared on The Today Show, Larry King Live, CNN, and Fox News and been featured in USA Today, People magazine, and The Wall Street Journal. ABC television purchased the rights to Corner Office for a comedy series.
Her client list reads like a who’s who of multinational corporations, including Amgen, British Petroleum, Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, GE, KPMG, Ernst & Young, Procter & Gamble, MasterCard, McKinsey & Company, Microsoft, Warner Bros., The Walt Disney Company and Goldman Sachs to name just a few of the hundreds of companies that have invited Dr. Frankel back time and again.
Dr. Frankel is the founder of two non-profit organizations, MOSTE: Motivating Our Students Through Experience and Bloom Again Foundation. She has been honored with Maybelline’s Women Who Empower Through Education award, The Los Angeles County Commission for Women’s Woman of the Year award, and a Presidential Medal from her undergraduate alma mater, the State University of New York at Oswego. In addition to her doctorate earned from the University of Southern California, she was awarded an honorary Doctor of Humane Letters from Phillips Graduate Institute.