More Resume Bloopers and Blunders

resume-mistakesReaders had so much fun with our recent article Resume Mistakes That Keep Hiring Managers Amused But Cost You the Interview, that we decided to do a sequel. These blunders are courtesy of Robert Half International's Resumania.


"SKILLS: Committed to meeting deadline."

Just one?


"HOBBIES: Michael Bolton."

That's a first.


"SKILLS: I'm try-lingual."

She either speaks three languages or has trouble with just one.


"COVER LETTER: I host a superlative proficiency for resolving complex systematic problems. I have pedagogic expertise conducting sales, and I can be quickly utilized as an assiduous, visceral and proactive problem solver."

Easy for you to say.

-- Are you applying for jobs? Find out what they pay.

"EQUIPMENT: Human brain 1.0."

We'll wait for the upgrade.


"POSITION DESIRED: Profreader."

It doesn't look good...


"DATE OF EMPLOYMENT: 2002-9999."

She's earned her gold watch!


"EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS: Maintained a 2.0 GPA."

We can't "C" why you highlighted this fact.


"REFERENCES: Scott."

We'll need a little more to go on.


"EXPERIENCE: Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting."

You'll love our vending machine.


"EXPERIENCE: Only employee of a small distribution company."

Can't get much smaller than that.


"APPLICATION: Q: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? "A: 3 stories."

OK ... Then, approximately how many people sat on each floor?


"PERSONAL: I can describe myself in three words: committed, hard working, and very strategic thinking."

That's seven words.


"REASON FOR LEAVING: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."

We're glad you're not bitter.


"OFFICE EQUIPMENT: Stapler."

Did you find it tough to master?


"EXPERIENCE: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening, interviewing and executing final candidates."

Seems kind of harsh ...


"EXPERIENCE: I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around."

Sounds like you may be going in circles.


"COMPENSATION: My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

And bonuses "tied to" your shoe size?


"WORK EXPERIENCE: Responsibilities included checking customers out."

And then did you rank them on a scale of 1-to-10?


"CURRENT SALARY: $36,000. Salary desired: $250,000."

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


Next: Bad Interview and Resume Blunders: Tales from the Trenches


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Barbara Safani

Barbara Safani

Editor

Barbara Safani, owner of Career Solvers, has over fifteen years of experience in career management, recruiting, executive coaching, and organizational development.

Barbara partners with both Fortune 100 companies and individuals to deliver targeted programs focusing on resume development, job search strategies, networking, interviewing, salary negotiation skills, and online identity management.

She is the author of Happy About My Resume: 50 Tips For Building a Better Document to Secure a Brighter Future and #JOBSEARCHtweet and her award-winning resumes are featured in dozens of career-related publications.

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redpen

nice to see I'm not the only one carrying a red pen!

August 14 2010 at 1:10 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Angiebaby

"CURRENT SALARY: $36,000. Salary desired: $250,000." Must have been applying for a government job where things like this are possible! Ahh haa ha! Actually, that's sad... but true.

August 14 2010 at 1:04 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
William

How about an article on stupid questions asked by human resources personel. At an interview for a pilot position for an airline, I was asked, "Do you really want to work here?".

August 14 2010 at 12:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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