More Resume Bloopers and Blunders

resume-mistakesReaders had so much fun with our recent article Resume Mistakes That Keep Hiring Managers Amused But Cost You the Interview, that we decided to do a sequel. These blunders are courtesy of Robert Half International's Resumania.


"SKILLS: Committed to meeting deadline."

Just one?


"HOBBIES: Michael Bolton."

That's a first.


"SKILLS: I'm try-lingual."

She either speaks three languages or has trouble with just one.


"COVER LETTER: I host a superlative proficiency for resolving complex systematic problems. I have pedagogic expertise conducting sales, and I can be quickly utilized as an assiduous, visceral and proactive problem solver."

Easy for you to say.

-- Are you applying for jobs? Find out what they pay.

"EQUIPMENT: Human brain 1.0."

We'll wait for the upgrade.


"POSITION DESIRED: Profreader."

It doesn't look good...


"DATE OF EMPLOYMENT: 2002-9999."

She's earned her gold watch!


"EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS: Maintained a 2.0 GPA."

We can't "C" why you highlighted this fact.


"REFERENCES: Scott."

We'll need a little more to go on.


"EXPERIENCE: Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting."

You'll love our vending machine.


"EXPERIENCE: Only employee of a small distribution company."

Can't get much smaller than that.


"APPLICATION: Q: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? "A: 3 stories."

OK ... Then, approximately how many people sat on each floor?


"PERSONAL: I can describe myself in three words: committed, hard working, and very strategic thinking."

That's seven words.


"REASON FOR LEAVING: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."

We're glad you're not bitter.


"OFFICE EQUIPMENT: Stapler."

Did you find it tough to master?


"EXPERIENCE: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening, interviewing and executing final candidates."

Seems kind of harsh ...


"EXPERIENCE: I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around."

Sounds like you may be going in circles.


"COMPENSATION: My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

And bonuses "tied to" your shoe size?


"WORK EXPERIENCE: Responsibilities included checking customers out."

And then did you rank them on a scale of 1-to-10?


"CURRENT SALARY: $36,000. Salary desired: $250,000."

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.


Next: Bad Interview and Resume Blunders: Tales from the Trenches


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3 Comments

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redpen

nice to see I'm not the only one carrying a red pen!

August 14 2010 at 1:10 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
Angiebaby

"CURRENT SALARY: $36,000. Salary desired: $250,000." Must have been applying for a government job where things like this are possible! Ahh haa ha! Actually, that's sad... but true.

August 14 2010 at 1:04 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply
William

How about an article on stupid questions asked by human resources personel. At an interview for a pilot position for an airline, I was asked, "Do you really want to work here?".

August 14 2010 at 12:27 PM Report abuse rate up rate down Reply

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