Albert J. Bernstein PhD, author "Am I the Only Sane One Working Here? 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity"
Does your job drive you crazy? Do you sometimes wonder if you are the only sane person in working there? Is your workplace dysfunctional, or is it you? Here's how to find out"
Based on more than 30 years of experience as psychologist and business consultant, I've put together a checklist of fifteen diagnostic signs of a psychologically dysfunctional business. Is it the job, or is it you?
Sign No. 1: Conspicuously posted vision or value statements are filled with vague but important-sounding words like "excellence" and "quality"
These words are seldom defined and the concepts they allude to are never measured.
Sign No. 2: Bringing up a problem is considered more as evidence of a personality defect rather than as an actual observation of reality
In a dysfunctional company, what it looks like is not only more important than what it is, it is what it is. If you don't believe that, you are the problem. A surprising amount of information is classified. Dysfunctional companies have more state secrets than the CIA. Anything that might embarrass the boss turns out to be a national security issue.
Sign No. 3: If by chance there are problems, the usual solution is a motivational seminar
Attitude is everything, especially in places where facts are embarrassing or inconvenient. In a dysfunctional family, there's an elephant -- usually a drunken abusive parent -- in the parlor, but no one ever mentions him. To appear sane, you have to pretend that the elephant is invisible, and that drives you crazy. Businesses are full of invisible elephants, too. Usually they are things that might cause difficulties for people with enough clout to prevent their discussion. The emperor may be naked, but if you have a good attitude, you won't mention it.
Sign No. 4: Double messages are delivered with a straight face
Quality and quantity are both job one. You can do it both cheaper and better, just don't ask how. If you're motivated enough you should know already.
Sign No. 5: History is regularly edited to make executive decisions more correct, and correct decisions more executive than they actually were
Those huge salaries require some justification.
Sign No. 6: People are discouraged from putting things in writing
What is written, especially financial records, is purposely confusing. You can never tell when you might need a little deniability.
Sign No. 7: Directions are ambiguous and often vaguely threatening
Before you respond to a vague threat, remember this: Virtually every corporate scandal begins with someone saying, "Do it; I don't care how." That person is seldom the one who gets indicted.
Sign No. 8: Internal competition is encouraged and rewarded
The word "teamwork" may be batted around like a softball at a company picnic, but in a dysfunctional company the star players are the only ones who get recognition and big bucks.
Sign No. 9: Decisions are made at the highest level possible
Regardless of what it is, you have to check with your boss before doing it. She also has to check with her boss.
Sign No. 10: Delegating means telling somebody to do something, not giving them the power to do it
According to Webster's Dictionary, you delegate authority, not tasks. In dysfunctional companies you may have responsibility, but the authority lives in the office upstairs.
Sign No. 11: Management approaches from the latest bestseller are regularly misunderstood to mean what we're doing already is right on the mark
"Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," "Good to Great" and "Who Moved My Cheese?" all seem to boil down to, "quit griping and do more with less."
Sign No. 12: Resources are tightly controlled
Your department may need upgraded software, but there's been a spending freeze since 2006. Cost control is entry-level management, but in a dysfunctional company anything more sophisticated is considered too touchy-feely. Whatever you propose, the first question you will be asked is if it can be done cheaper.
Sign No. 13: You are expected to feel lucky to have a job and know you could lose it if you don't toe the line
Dysfunctional companies maintain control using the threat of punishment. Most will maintain that they also use positive rewards ... like your paycheck. A few people are actually fired, but most of those who go are driven to quit.
Sign No. 14: Rules are enforced based on who you are rather than what you do
In a dysfunctional company, there are clearly insiders and outsiders and everyone knows who belongs in each group. Accountability has different meanings depending on which group you're in.
Sign No. 15: The company fails the Dilbert Test
Dysfunctional organizations have no sense of humor. People who post unflattering cartoons risk joining the ranks of the disappeared. When an organization loses the ability to laugh at itself, it is headed for big trouble. If you'd get in trouble for printing this article and posting it on the bulletin board at work, maybe it's time to look for another job before this one drives you crazy.
Next: 10 Signs It's Time to Quit >>
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Search by Company | Search by IndustryAlbert J. Bernstein PhD is the author of bestsellers "Dinosaur Brains" and "Emotional Vampires." His newest book is "Am I the Only Sane One Working Here? 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity." For more information on how to stay sane at work, visit Dr. Al's Web site www.albernstein.com.




Oct 29th 2009 @ 6:12AM nibblettpne
to the other 2 posted comments.......yada yada yada yada...scam scam scam
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Oct 29th 2009 @ 2:08PM A Hard Worker
This list was clearly written by a lazy, disgruntled employee... Decsions made at the top? It's called a boss and we all have one. Competition? Its called promoting the best. Get a real job, writer!!
Oct 30th 2009 @ 4:48PM mimi
Sounds like the Education system in America...do it now..do it for less..don't complain..you have a job and you hardly work! (if they actually knew how hard teachers work)and above all..if the jobs done right..wow..what an admin..but if its not...what a lousy teacher!
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Nov 12th 2009 @ 5:27PM Kathy
OMG.......AMEN!!!!!
Oct 29th 2009 @ 8:02AM Texman
OMG! The author of this article must have been observing my last place of employment. Items 1-4 and 10-14 are especially familiar. As an example, I had a former supervisor instruct me on how to perform a certain Excel application, but two years later a new supervisor told me I had been doing it wrong. When I explained it was the way [former supervisor] showed me, I was viewed as being whiny and defensive, and my next evaluation indicated I blamed others for my mistakes. I was simply explaining why I did it that way, but apparently you take it in the you-know-what and go on smiling.
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Oct 29th 2009 @ 11:57AM SprinkleCookie
I work for the Department of Defense. Just about all of those cover the entire agency. If a person suspects fraud, that person gets "moved." When it actually turns out to be fraud, someone else gets the credit. They offered early outs to all the clerical folk, (except for the execs' secretaries)So, now, instead of having helpers help us with administrative things (I'm NOT talking about typing and filing) we spend far too much time learning how to do things that are not our jobs. It's called "Other duties as assigned."
Oct 31st 2009 @ 1:32AM NO NAMES PLEASE
ONLY 1-4 AND 10-14. I SHOWED THIS TO 5 PEOPLE HERE AND ALL SAID 1-15. YOUR JOB MUST BE NICE I MAY APPLY THERE. JUST KIDDING, JUST DO NOT COME HERE. WE ALSO CAME UP WITH 10 MORE THINGS BUT THERE WERE MOSTLY ABOUT THE PERSONALLITIES OF THE PEOPLE IN CHARGE. LIKE WRITING YOU UP FOR MOUNTAIN THAT WERE MOLE HILLS. OH, YES I AM LOOKING FOR A NEW JOB.
Oct 29th 2009 @ 7:10AM ttrexxx
this is how the phone company is run
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Oct 31st 2009 @ 11:09AM C.L.
HERE HERE!!! This article just described day-to-day life at Verizon.
Oct 29th 2009 @ 11:22AM k
truer words were never spoken. I worked for the phone company in Arizona for 8 years. What a joke it is!!
Oct 29th 2009 @ 1:36PM gr8bsn
Yeah, those call centers have "internal competition between employees" all the time in the form of contests, spiffs, and quotas.
Oct 29th 2009 @ 7:41AM rob
the guy who wrote this sounds crazier then the people he is talking about. You spot it you got it!
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Oct 29th 2009 @ 9:42AM John
I agree, what dumb observations. Anyone who needs this tripe written down deserves to be unemployed. Dogs bite, water is wet-dohhhh!
Oct 29th 2009 @ 1:42PM tm
I agree, rob.
Oct 29th 2009 @ 7:49AM Brutuss100
#10 is backwards... You can delegate authority, not responsibility.
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Oct 29th 2009 @ 12:09PM Silver Wolf
You are correct that you can delegate authority not responsibility. The author is pointing out that in dysfunctional companies the leaders hold subordinates responsible without giving them authority. Overall the article is simplistic and therefore I judge meant to be taken lightly, i.e., humorously. In truth it is both / and. All the statements could be true and the "victims" could also be whiny and unwise.
Oct 29th 2009 @ 1:55PM Refugee
What #10 means is that you have the responsibility for reaching the goal, supervising underlings, etc. but, if any changes need to be made: (revising methods, disciplining underlings, etc.) you cannot. In short, it's just asking for a nightmare in which you are held responsible for the results without being allowed the means to get the job done.
You can also add to the list--any crazy (and I don't mean the fun kind) bosses who make your workplace impossible or threaten you with harm. What is also not mentioned is a workplace where women are underpaid (hey, that persistent 70 cents/hour difference from men's pay means a lot of people are still doing that) and any one in which the working conditions are simply not safe for their employees.
Oct 29th 2009 @ 7:50AM Andy
Whoever wrote this must know a lot about working for the government.
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Oct 29th 2009 @ 9:55AM Lisa
Andy, I agree with you entirely. What the writer failed to say is how much integrity is preached to the masses by "Upper Mgm't", yet they are the ones having affairs with their subordinates and getting them promoted. Want to save money in government???? Fire all of Upper Managemant-they do almost nothing anyway...at least for the salaries they are being paid.
Oct 29th 2009 @ 9:13PM Sherry
I SO agree with you. It totally sounded like the government agency where I worked for almost 30 years. You could tell the administrators who knew what they were doing. They didn't do any of the things on that list. And the writer forgot one. That is to keep everybody at each other's throats so they won't organize and do something about the situation.