Albert J. Bernstein PhD, author "Am I the Only Sane One Working Here? 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity"
Does your job drive you crazy? Do you sometimes wonder if you are the only sane person in working there? Is your workplace dysfunctional, or is it you? Here's how to find out"
Based on more than 30 years of experience as psychologist and business consultant, I've put together a checklist of fifteen diagnostic signs of a psychologically dysfunctional business. Is it the job, or is it you?
Sign No. 1: Conspicuously posted vision or value statements are filled with vague but important-sounding words like "excellence" and "quality"
These words are seldom defined and the concepts they allude to are never measured.
Sign No. 2: Bringing up a problem is considered more as evidence of a personality defect rather than as an actual observation of reality
In a dysfunctional company, what it looks like is not only more important than what it is, it is what it is. If you don't believe that, you are the problem. A surprising amount of information is classified. Dysfunctional companies have more state secrets than the CIA. Anything that might embarrass the boss turns out to be a national security issue.
Sign No. 3: If by chance there are problems, the usual solution is a motivational seminar
Attitude is everything, especially in places where facts are embarrassing or inconvenient. In a dysfunctional family, there's an elephant -- usually a drunken abusive parent -- in the parlor, but no one ever mentions him. To appear sane, you have to pretend that the elephant is invisible, and that drives you crazy. Businesses are full of invisible elephants, too. Usually they are things that might cause difficulties for people with enough clout to prevent their discussion. The emperor may be naked, but if you have a good attitude, you won't mention it.
Sign No. 4: Double messages are delivered with a straight face
Quality and quantity are both job one. You can do it both cheaper and better, just don't ask how. If you're motivated enough you should know already.
Sign No. 5: History is regularly edited to make executive decisions more correct, and correct decisions more executive than they actually were
Those huge salaries require some justification.
Sign No. 6: People are discouraged from putting things in writing
What is written, especially financial records, is purposely confusing. You can never tell when you might need a little deniability.
Sign No. 7: Directions are ambiguous and often vaguely threatening
Before you respond to a vague threat, remember this: Virtually every corporate scandal begins with someone saying, "Do it; I don't care how." That person is seldom the one who gets indicted.
Sign No. 8: Internal competition is encouraged and rewarded
The word "teamwork" may be batted around like a softball at a company picnic, but in a dysfunctional company the star players are the only ones who get recognition and big bucks.
Sign No. 9: Decisions are made at the highest level possible
Regardless of what it is, you have to check with your boss before doing it. She also has to check with her boss.
Sign No. 10: Delegating means telling somebody to do something, not giving them the power to do it
According to Webster's Dictionary, you delegate authority, not tasks. In dysfunctional companies you may have responsibility, but the authority lives in the office upstairs.
Sign No. 11: Management approaches from the latest bestseller are regularly misunderstood to mean what we're doing already is right on the mark
"Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," "Good to Great" and "Who Moved My Cheese?" all seem to boil down to, "quit griping and do more with less."
Sign No. 12: Resources are tightly controlled
Your department may need upgraded software, but there's been a spending freeze since 2006. Cost control is entry-level management, but in a dysfunctional company anything more sophisticated is considered too touchy-feely. Whatever you propose, the first question you will be asked is if it can be done cheaper.
Sign No. 13: You are expected to feel lucky to have a job and know you could lose it if you don't toe the line
Dysfunctional companies maintain control using the threat of punishment. Most will maintain that they also use positive rewards ... like your paycheck. A few people are actually fired, but most of those who go are driven to quit.
Sign No. 14: Rules are enforced based on who you are rather than what you do
In a dysfunctional company, there are clearly insiders and outsiders and everyone knows who belongs in each group. Accountability has different meanings depending on which group you're in.
Sign No. 15: The company fails the Dilbert Test
Dysfunctional organizations have no sense of humor. People who post unflattering cartoons risk joining the ranks of the disappeared. When an organization loses the ability to laugh at itself, it is headed for big trouble. If you'd get in trouble for printing this article and posting it on the bulletin board at work, maybe it's time to look for another job before this one drives you crazy.
Next: 10 Signs It's Time to Quit >>
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Search by Company | Search by IndustryAlbert J. Bernstein PhD is the author of bestsellers "Dinosaur Brains" and "Emotional Vampires." His newest book is "Am I the Only Sane One Working Here? 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity." For more information on how to stay sane at work, visit Dr. Al's Web site www.albernstein.com.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 15)
to the other 2 posted comments.......yada yada yada yada...scam scam scam
ReplyThis list was clearly written by a lazy, disgruntled employee... Decsions made at the top? It's called a boss and we all have one. Competition? Its called promoting the best. Get a real job, writer!!
I wouldn't dare print this article and post it at work because by doing so it would be obvious that I had a problem with management and authority. While this may be the case why advertise the fact.
Ditto, that's right YOU scammers and fake commentorys take a lesson from your own crap scam adds for stupid websites that rip people off. Don't respond to your own crap!
Sign No. 2: Bringing up a problem is considered more as evidence of a personality defect rather than as an actual observation of reality
In a dysfunctional company, what it looks like is not only more important than what it is, it is what it is. If you don't believe that, you are the problem. A surprising amount of information is classified. Dysfunctional companies have more state secrets than the CIA. Anything that might embarrass the boss turns out to be a national security issue.
The writer would benefit from some communication courses--what in Gods name does this mean?--Phd in human resources no doubt--talk about nuts---he's "it"
The author of this article is very jaded. Let's see I am suppose to let the complainers complain, and not motivate them. Not allow for team involvement because someone might rise to the top (identifying a potential future leader). I cannot manage my resources in a time when fiscal responsibility has taken on a new meaning.... Oh and yes, I am to allow my employees to post off colored remarks on the bulletin board, and if I don't' allow this or laugh at the comments I'm the one with the problem? The only thing I find dysfunctional is this negative advice this article gives.
If you don't like working corporate read the 4 hour work week.... I'm never going corporate again, never ever!
I think a forth greader wrote this.
EXPERTS PREDICT 25% TO 30% U.S.UNEMPLOYMENT BY 2012
Although it appears new unemployment claims have slowed, economists like Gerald Clemente are predicting possible 30% unemployment by 2012. This is Americans unemployed because they can’t find work, NOT the bogus unemployment rate that the government uses. They are only count people actually COLLECTING unemployment. Not the people who did not qualify, those who’s ran out, or younger American who have recently entered the job market.
Every year millions more people enter the job market, Sure some retire but for every 2 people retiring, 3 more enter the job market. So of course you’re going to need more jobs.
not less. But the biggest problem is a massive campaign by BIG BUSINESS to offshore every Goddamn American job. If you can’t replace the employees with automation than they must be outsourced is their only goal. Companies that can’t afford to outsource will instead use illegal aliens.
And thanks to our worthless, greedy, corrupt beyond corrupt piece of shit government, the corporations have succeeded in offshoring more than 40 million American jobs over the last 25 years. Thanks to all the bribes and favors our politicians received, deals by dick head Bill Clinton and AssWipes George Bush JR and Senior, the outsourcing overseas and to Mexico has exploded.
Even if you stop the outsourcing, we would still have a shortage of jobs because the population is growing fast however when you combine this with massive offshoring of jobs you eventually end up with massive unemployment.
It’s simple mathematics.
Population expanding + massive offshoring = massive unemployment
Until we revolt and take back the government from Big Business and punish all the politicians that sold us out ( most of them) things will only get worse. People must understand that the Filthy Rich which includes Big Business and the Banks now completely control the government and they have found a way to suck up all the money
leaving the country ready to collapse from major debt. And the economy will collapse unless we revolt and save it.
If you love your country and your children you’ll start a revolt now. If not than do nothing and let the country crumble. And yes it WILL be your fault.
WHY IS THE COST OF LABOR SO HIGH IN THE U.S.A. ?
The VICIOUS CYCLE:Spending,Borrowing,Inflation OffShoring,Unemployment
The main goal of every American company these days to offshore their labor. For many reasons but mainly for cheap labor. Why is the labor so much cheaper in other countries?
It’s because inflation has increased so tremendously in America over than last 30 years it’s astounding. Why has it increased so rapidly here but not in these other countries like China and India?
It’s all because of our government spending and the runaway national debt. Our government thinks the solution to everything is spend borrow, spend borrow, spend borrow borrow borrow. Every time it goes up the dollar value goes down which cause inflation.
As inflation rises, our lazy, worthless, corrupt as hell government leaders simply vote themselves pay raises instead of dealing with the problems. As inflation rises so does the cost of living. Workers demand higher wages to keep up with the inflation and high cost of living is the US.
Most American companies have decided the wages are just too high here so their main goal is to outsource overseas or to Mexico. This causes more layoffs which cause more Americans to apply for government assistance.
So then the government has to borrow more money to support those out of work which raises the national debt even more which raises inflation which forces more companies to outsource which causes more unemployment and so on.
The worse unemployment gets, the more the government will have to spend on welfare. This raises the national debt which raises inflation which means people want higher wages which causes more outsourcing of jobs.
WHAT THREE MAJOR GIFTS DID OBAMA GIVE THIS YEAR ?
First off as you already know or should already know is that our government is now almost completely controlled by three groups through favors, bribes and payoffs.
They are Global Big Business, The Insurance Industry and the Wall Street Banks.
The first present he gave early in the year to his friends on wall street with a 87 billion dollar bailout so that they could pay themselves billions in bonuses.
Second his gift to Global Big Business came mid year as he and the rest of our corrupt government forced all Americans to convert to digital television therefore forcing tens of millions of people to buy new televisions and dvd recorders racking hundreds of billions for Global Big Business and since all electronics are now made over seas, 100% of that money went into foreign markets like Japan and korea and close to zero to the American economy. He then gave them a second gift with the cash for clunkers in which people traded in their old American cars for newer foreign cars, Again all the profits went into foreign markets.
Then last but not least he wasn’t going to forget his good friends the Insurance Industry. for Christmas he gave them just what they wanted. A law that forces Americans to buy health insurance.
Well I guess all that campaign money really pays off when it comes to Christmas.
When asked about jobs Obama laughed like jolly old Saint Nick and said “find them yourself suckers, ”
WHY ARE HALF THE CHILDREN IN AMERICA NOW ON FOOD STAMPS?
On the front page of the Daily News the other day, I read that 50% of the children in America are now on food stamps. Even more stunning is 90% of African American kids are now on food stamps.
Why, two reasons:. First massive unemployment and a worthless piece of shit government that doesn’t give a damn about anything except helping the filthy rich get richer so that they can get their bribes and kickbacks.
Now that Global Big business completely controls our government through bribes via corporate lobbyists, they don’t want any more jobs created in this country because it would compete with all the foreign markets. Global Big Business says “fuck the American people, we plan to offshore every Goddamn American job and there is nothing the American people can do about it because we now completely control the US federal government so ha ha”
Second, many people that have jobs can’t afford to feed their children because the cost of living in this country is so Goddamn ridiculously high. This is due to all the constant inflation caused by our lazy worthless government constantly increasing the nation debt with wasteful spending and bullshit give a ways. The higher it gets, the higher inflation gets as the dollar is then worth less.
Our shit eating government says they would rather pay the entire country food stamps, welfare , government housing, unemployment and so rather than create jobs or help keep the jobs from offshoring. Why, because that’s what Global Big Business wants and they control our government now so get it through your thick heads. Most of corrupt government leaders don’t really care how high the national debt gets as long as they get their bribes and kick backs from Global Big Business and the Global banks that actually want the national to go up so they can get more interest and eventually own the US (and everything that we own)
Face the facts, there is only one solution. We need to get together and start a revolution , beat and hang every politician and replace them with people who won’t sell us out.
We need to start Now if we want to save our country………..
I feel I have to respond to A Hard Worker. The writer of this article could very well be disgruntled, but not necessarily lazy. His article describes a company I used to work for perfectly. As someone who is also a hard worker, but worked in a dysfunctional environment such as the one described, I can agree with the article whole heartedly. After all, I'm the one who had to carry the workload of those not doing it.
They did post notices about Quality and all that, but it only applied to the ones doing the work. NOT the company "Pets".
I was expected to let them know if there were issues with the systems we worked on as I was the first to notice. Before being forcibly transferred into another department, I watched for issues, tracked them and let management know what was going on, what was probably causing it, as well as possible fixes and work arounds. The new department wanted the same, but kept insisting that everything was "Perfect" and wouldn't address any issues no matter how many people pointed the same things out. It was everyone else's problem to WORK with the issues caused by lack of training, poor work ethics and poor work standards. These were people already trying to do the jobs of 3-5 people, while that department didn't have enough work to keep everyone busy. Management, in my opinion, was delusional. I was asked to let certain people know of things I noticed about information coming in, then it was "Well, YOU shouldn't be talking to anyone." At one point I was told "There are NO problems in this department", 95% of the office would not agree with that assessment.
I could go through each and everyone of the signs, but suffice it to say that, IF management wanted to make a decision, they would make it whether it was right or wrong. If you were told to do somehting that you didn't have the authority to do, you were chastised for it. Very little was put in writing as this would make it in stone. And the real competition was between who could get away with doing the least or breaking the most corporate policies. Their way of handling the inappropriate actions and policy breaking by those who were considered pets, was to barely tap the hands of the violators and call a small group into meetings to scream at them for what none of them were doing. It really was WHO you know, NOT what you do. There was one individual who took several breaks everday, not including smoke breaks, violated DIRECT corporate policy EVERYDAY using company computers and phones, took VERY long lunch breaks, text messaged friends when she was supposed to be working and generally flitted about the area being a social butterfly and got away with it. Home office, finally got tired of the complaints and the lack of response and told management that either THEY "handle" the situation, OR it would be handled for them. Instead this person was given promotions and kudos, for doing precious little. And yes, having had to deal with her and take care of stuff they were supposed to have done, I have direct knowledge of this. I was tired of being one of those called on the carpet because of this individual. I loved my job and what I did, but that was finally taken from me becsuse of the nonsense. I was called into HR more than once, not because of my job performance, but because I would not sit on my butt, doing nothing, to chit chat and talk about my personal life to management and supervisory staff members. I was told "YOU HAVE to tell us EVERYTHING!, We can fix it! We have programs!" I told them if it was job related, we could talk, but I wasn't there to do anything other than the job I was hired to do and do it to the best of my ability. PLEASE! Let me DO it!" That was the kicker. I wan'ted to do my job and they wouldn't let me. As the stress of some of the situation started to affect my health, I was forced to leave. I am happier and my health is improving. Poetic justice is, shortly after I left, home office called the management in that department, demanding to know what was going on. It was pointed out that they had taken a small team, who were keeping up fairly well from one department, moved it into theirs and increased the staff size with a small increase in workload and yet the smaller staff got more done. You get tired of supervisors and managers coming over to you every 1-2 hours trying to interfere with your working just to chat. I loved that job and I miss some of the wonderful people I worked with, but I don't miss the nonsense that nearly put me in the hospital or worse. All you have to do is watch the news for stories going under or laying off to see where the emphasis is when running companies. It's sad that the lazy, useless and questionable characters are rewarded, where the hard workers are essentially used and abused and tossed away.
Sounds like the Education system in America...do it now..do it for less..don't complain..you have a job and you hardly work! (if they actually knew how hard teachers work)and above all..if the jobs done right..wow..what an admin..but if its not...what a lousy teacher!
ReplyOMG.......AMEN!!!!!
teaching? hard work? ha ha ha it aint heavy lifting, you complain about your office jobs being hard and your wearing a suit and tie. Go out and work on a production line at pace with a machine for minimuum wage and no insurance, when your bodies shot from repetitive motion problems its sdo long go away now. teachers are spoiled brats, wooo whooo i work so hard you dont even get your hands dirty, shake hands with a teacher and its like shaking hands with a little girl
So true.....Administartion's ridiculous paperwork for the teacher, "Don't care how it gets done, do it". So, need to do it while suppose to be teaching. The paperwork? Stats & Reports to show the State how wonderful we are doing. In the meantime, 12th graders can not spell, or do fractions, etc., etc. Don't be fooled. Administration is all talk, just 'show & tell of B.S."
When you think of people that work hard in this country I don't think many people would add teachers to the list. No other country spends as much and expects so little. You say the admin takes the credit when "get it right" like it's so rare you should be praised for it when it happens. You should be getting it right and be let go if you don't do it consistantly. Unless you work for a private school that's just not the way it works in education here and the main difference between teaching and other jobs.
For Rob: I have a feeling that after many days some teachers would work production, especially after dealing with many of the teenagers. Don't assume your job is harder than any other individual's job - it may be difficult in a different way.
Many good teachers do it because they love to do the job, however they did not sign up for the lack of support, lack of authority, dealing with the kids (and parents) for little pay or respect.
You knew what to expect when you agreed to work on an assembly line.
OMG! The author of this article must have been observing my last place of employment. Items 1-4 and 10-14 are especially familiar. As an example, I had a former supervisor instruct me on how to perform a certain Excel application, but two years later a new supervisor told me I had been doing it wrong. When I explained it was the way [former supervisor] showed me, I was viewed as being whiny and defensive, and my next evaluation indicated I blamed others for my mistakes. I was simply explaining why I did it that way, but apparently you take it in the you-know-what and go on smiling.
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