Rachel Zupek, CareerBuilder.com
Have you ever shaken someone's hand and in the same instant, felt every bone in your fingers and palm shatter? Or, even worse, felt like you were shaking the fin on a dead fish?
Handshakes have been around since the birth of civilization. In fact, they were originally a way to prove you had no weapons in your hand when meeting someone new (given today's state of affairs, that might not be a bad idea). Nowadays, we use handshakes in meetings, greetings, offering congratulations, closing a business deal or sometimes just to say, "How's it goin'?"
No matter the basis of your handshake, it should become part of your repertoire. Handshakes are a sign of trust and help build strong relationships. Imagine meeting a well-groomed, well-dressed expert for the first time -- but when you shake his/her hand, you feel like you're grabbing an infant's finger.
Prospective employers said they're more likely to overlook visible body piercings and tattoos than an ineffective handshake, according to a 2001 survey of human resources professionals. Plus, when you shake hands with people upon meeting, they're two times more likely to remember you than if you didn't shake hands, according to a study by the Incomm Center for Trade Show Research.
The time has come to find out if your grip is powerful, pathetic or just plain bad. Pamela J. Holland and Marjorie Brody, workplace/career experts and co-authors of "Help! Was That a Career Limiting Move?" say it's time to practice.
10 nightmarish handshakes to avoid
To evade making a bad first impression, losing a business deal or simply embarrassing yourself, take heed of Holland and Brody's 10 terrible grips to avoid:
- The "macho cowboy"... is the almost bone-crunching clasp many businessmen use to shake hands. What are they trying to prove, anyway?
- The wimp... is usually delivered by men who are afraid to "hurt the little lady" when shaking women's hands. Modern female professionals expect their male counterparts to convey the same respect they'd show their male colleagues.
- The "dead fish"... conveys no power. While there's no need to revert to the macho cowboy death grip, a firm clasp is more powerful than one that barely grabs the hand.
- The "four finger"... is when the person's hand never meets your palm, and instead clasps all four fingers, crushing them together.
- The cold and clammy... feels like you're shaking hands with a snake. Warm up your hand first before grabbing someone else's.
- The sweaty palm... is pretty self-explanatory, and pretty gross. Talcum powder to the rescue.
- The "I've got you covered" grip... happens when the other person covers your hand with his or her left hand as if your shake is secretive.
- The "I won't let go"... seems to go on for eternity because the other person won't drop his or her hand. After two or three pumps, it's time to let go. "It's a lot like a kiss -- you know when it's over," Brody says.
- The "southpaw"... happens when the person uses the left hand to shake because the right hand has food or a drink. Always carry your drink and plate with your left hand to keep your right one free for meet and greets.
- The "ringed torture"... occurs when the person's rings hurt your hand. Try to limit the number of rings you wear on the right hand to only one or two and be mindful of any that have large stones.
Three steps to a proper handshake
Some other things to keep in mind:
- As you're approaching someone, extend your right arm when you're about three feet away. Slightly angle your arm across your chest, with your thumb pointing up.
- Lock hands, thumb joint to thumb joint. Then, firmly clasp the other person's hand -- without any bone crushing or macho posturing.
- Pump the other person's hand two to three times and let go.
Six tips to an effective meet & greet
- Stand up
- Step or lean forward
- Make eye contact
- Have a pleasant or animated face
- Shake hands
- Greet the other person and repeat his or her name
Next: The 10 Biggest Minutes of Your Interview >>
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 6)
HAND SHAKES USE TO MEAN A BOND OF CONFIDENCE, OR A AGREAD CONTRACT , BUT NOW , IT DONT MEAN ANYTHING . TO MANY CON ARTIST AND LIARS IN THE WORLD .
ReplyIt seems like it's mostly men that give that bone crushing handshake..They don't stop to realize that some people (like me) have arthritis in their hands...Recently I was attending an event in my daughters church and when we did the greetings at the beginning the guy behind me crushed my knuckles together.. The word 'Sh**" slipped through my lips, because it happened so fast.
WHY SHAKE HANDS AT ALL? WITH ALL THE GERMS FLOATING AROUND AND THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T WASH THIER HANDS AFTER USING THE REST ROOM (WE'VE ALL SEEN THEM) WHO WANT TO SHAKE HANDS? THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY OF GREETING THAN TOUCHING SOMEONE HAND AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHERE ITS BEEN.KEEP YOUR HAND TO YOURSELF,I'LL TAKE A FIST BUMP A SMILE OR THOSE FRIENDLY WORDS,IT'S NICE MEETING YOU.
With all the concerns of avoiding flu and washing hands, etc, the Americans need to drop handshaking custom. And when information is given out on how to avoid contacting the flu virus, handshaking should on list of things to definitely avoid. We need to get this message out to the public now.
Quoting Timothy Bryant, "HAND SHAKES USE TO MEAN A BOND OF CONFIDENCE, OR A AGREAD CONTRACT , BUT NOW , IT DONT MEAN ANYTHING . TO MANY CON ARTIST AND LIARS IN THE WORLD ."
Your grammar is horrible. 1) In this sentence, it is "used," not use. You misspelled “handshake.” 2) There is no comma before "or" because "a agread contract" is a dependant clause. You also misspelled agreed. 3) You misused the "a/ an" rule. You use "a" before words that begin with a consonant, and you use "an" before words that begin with a vowel. 4) There is no comma after "now." 5) I do not know where to begin with your "DONT" usage. The word you meant to use was "doesn't," and you did not use an apostrophe to signal that there were letters missing. 6) You last sentence is a fragment, and you used the wrong spelling for "to." The correct spelling would be "Too." The word “too” is used when you are referring to amounts, and the word “to” is used in all other sentences. The sentence should read:
--HANDSHAKES USED TO MEAN A BOND OF CONFIDENCE OR AN AGREAD CONTRACT, BUT NOW IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING. THERE ARE TOO MANY CONARTIST AND LIARS IN THE WORLD.
Hey, English Teacher...learn to spell agreed (not agread) If you're going to correct someone's post, you should make sure you catch ALL the mistakes. Just Saying.
Handshaking is a horrible, dirty invasive cultural practice. When is the last time you actually grasped a hand that was pleasant to shake? Everyone sweats. In India and Japan, the hands are folded over the chest or one bows politely. There is no physical contact. I am horrified by this dreadful custom. More so when I learned than fully 40% of men do NOT wash their hands after using the restroom. Hopefully Swine Flu will curtail some of the handshaking. For a country obssessed with germs, I am amazed at the handshaking and the open sneezing and coughing which goes on everywhere. No wonder the drug companies make millions marketing cold and flu remedies.
ReplyMove to India or Japan. We are in and live in AMERICA WHERE WE SHAKE HANDS!
DON'T LIKE THE CUSYOM MOVE!
You know, life starts out pretty gross and funky (um, hello childbirth) and pretty much stays that way. Since you're gonna get dirty no matter how lightly you tread you might as well just jump in. But then again, I live in New Orleans where we celebrate our grittiness rather than Japan where they are obsessed antibacterial products.
First off this is the US not India or Japan. Sorry but you also happen to be wrong about them. Japan's business culture does shake hands, thats a fact, so does the business culture in India. Oh and by the way, the Swine Flu is a virus, not bacteria, so washing your hands means nothing, it does nothing to a virus. Now washing your hands is a good thing since it destroys bacteria. Please get your facts straight before you make statements. Thanks
very good. we should never shake hands. people do not wash hands often
Wow, I must say that leaving your house must be quite the task. Worrying about germophobia. You are right though people who cough and cover their mouths withthere bare hands is a waste of time. I my self pick up my shirt and cough sneese whatever and nothing gets on my hands is caught in the shirt. Sound sort of gross but saves the catchy spells. This act should be taught through schools cus every one does not have a hanky all the time
WELL SAID
You're kidding me right?
Bowing is more sanitarry. Europans always get it wrong.
ReplyAnd so do Europeans.
THIS is so true,.. I am so sick and tired of limp, lousy, "I don't really want to shake hands.. " person. Why bother if you don't want to?
ReplyI actually call them out on it right then and there.... if it's a limp one, I say, "oh come on,.. you can do better than that.." they are a little surprised, shocked?, too bad, next time shake a hand like you mean it,.. I will continue to call them on it. !!
You must be a laugh riot at the nursing home.
Susan,
You are sooo correct. I am a country boy and also feel that if a person shakes a hand as if a WHIPM. I have always been taught that a hand shake tells a lot about a person.
I also learned at a very young age of how to shake a Lady's hand. It takes practice and timing. The most difficult part for men to learn is that one has to almost instantly try to feel how much pressure the Lady applies with her hand and use the same amount of pressure when you squeeze her hand. I know it's difficult and takes very much practice.
yea, first impression counts, shake hands with feeling behind it, like introducing your personality,hey