She is the family cook, maid, taxi service, coach, tutor, doctor, pet caregiver, gardener, stylist, social planner, disciplinarian and breadwinner. With such a full schedule, it's no wonder one-third of working moms told CareerBuilder.com they are unhappy with their work/life balance.
Everyone defines a healthy balance of work and life differently. For some, extra vacation time makes all the difference. For others, it's recognition at work and home that you are meeting the needs of those depending on you. If you define your ideal balance and design a game plan to reach those goals, you won't be overwhelmed by conflicting demands.
Women tend to play tug-of-war between business needs and spending time with their children, according to CareerBuilder's Career Moms 2005 survey. Although the majority of working mothers say they spend three or more hours with their children after work, 44 percent admit they become preoccupied with work while at home. One-in-four say they bring work home at least one day a week. When you're at home, try to make it all about them. Don't let your kids see the work you bring home and answer e-mail after they go to bed.
Too often, work is often the cause of that empty seat at the talent show or an absent cheerleader at a soccer game. Four-in-ten working moms said they missed at least one important occasion in their child's life due to a work commitment in the last year and nearly one-in-five said they missed three or more events. Parents should be front and center at major events to make sure their children know they are No. 1.
Mothers are looking for their employers to afford them more flexibility beyond sick time and vacation days when it comes to family. The good news is more employers today are more sensitive to family needs, including flexible schedules, adjusted work weeks and wider definitions of "sick time."
Here are some tips to help working mothers gain a healthier work/life balance:
1. Seek Higher Ground If your employer is not affording any flexibility, a new job may be the answer and it doesn't have to involve a smaller paycheck. Seek out employers who offer competitive compensation and a demonstrated commitment to work/life balance. Often employers will have awards or articles posted on the career sections of their Web sites. It's also a good idea to talk to other working moms about their experiences during the interview process.
2. Keep One Calendar Schedule business and personal commitments on the same calendar to avoid overbooking yourself. This way you can avoid scheduling a client meeting at the same time as a soccer game or school play and save those vacation days for the big events in your children's lives. I experienced this firsthand: My boss wanted to travel to Tucson on a Tuesday but it fell on the same day as "High Tea with Mom" at my daughter's school. I asked him if we could reschedule and he understood.
3. Turn Off the Tele One-in-five working moms say they usually just watch TV with their children after work. While sitcoms and videos can be fun, make time for activities where you are actively engaged with your children. Take a walk, schedule a game night, go to the park, etc. My favorite time of the day is when I read to my kids in bed, ask them about the best and worst part of their day, and tell them about my day.
4. Schedule Dates Four-in-ten working moms say they spend less time with their children than their parents did with them. Schedule special one-on-one dates with each of your kids to do their favorite activity or start new traditions. For example: On my children's birthdays, I pick them up from school, take them to their favorite restaurant for lunch, and spend the rest of the afternoon with them. And don't forget to set aside a day for your significant other and a day just for yourself.
5. Have No Regrets Life is not an a la carte menu. Be honest about what you can and can't do at home and manage expectations. Make your choices on where you need to be, recognize you're doing your best and lose the guilt.
Mary Delaney is the Chief Sales Officer at CareerBuilder.com and a mother of three.
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